I agree with everything you wrote. I was married in 1961 with stars in my eyes, naive, and trusting. I worked hard, earning a living for the two of us, because he was in law school. I came home from my exhausting job; cooked supper, cleaned up the dishes, etc. Then I would sit down and work to around midnight, preparing my classes and marking tests for the next day (I was teaching high school). He would go out immediately after supper, drinking and chasing women, as I later found out. Turned out he was alchoholic, a fact he had kept hidden from me until we married. I did all the cooking, house cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. without any help from him. He would come home long after midnight; wake me up, and expect sex. When I didn't want anything to do with sex, he called me "frigid". I fogot to mention that, for no reason at all, every day he would yell and scream and rant at me, calling me every name he could think of, and telling me how stupid I was. Thankfully, he got another woman pregnant and decided to marry her. So we were divorced after that. The best thing that ever happened to me! Four years of absolute hell! I heard that after two years of marriage to him, his second wife had the locks changed one night when he was out. All I could think was, why didn't I do that?
Oh my goodness, Pat! Seems like you got a raw deal for sure. As combative as some people are about their opinions around this as a "new" concept, it's clear that the root of this belief is a certainty that people will always be good to you as long as you're good to them, which of course is not always the case, especially when uneven power dynamics are at play. A tough lesson to learn, for sure. I'm so glad that you had such a better experience later! <3
You're totally on target. The trad wife is every incel's wet dream come true. They are particularly abundant in Fundamentalist Xtian circles and most especially among the Calvinists. It's seen as gawd's plan for women.
I agree with everything you wrote. I was married in 1961 with stars in my eyes, naive, and trusting. I worked hard, earning a living for the two of us, because he was in law school. I came home from my exhausting job; cooked supper, cleaned up the dishes, etc. Then I would sit down and work to around midnight, preparing my classes and marking tests for the next day (I was teaching high school). He would go out immediately after supper, drinking and chasing women, as I later found out. Turned out he was alchoholic, a fact he had kept hidden from me until we married. I did all the cooking, house cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. without any help from him. He would come home long after midnight; wake me up, and expect sex. When I didn't want anything to do with sex, he called me "frigid". I fogot to mention that, for no reason at all, every day he would yell and scream and rant at me, calling me every name he could think of, and telling me how stupid I was. Thankfully, he got another woman pregnant and decided to marry her. So we were divorced after that. The best thing that ever happened to me! Four years of absolute hell! I heard that after two years of marriage to him, his second wife had the locks changed one night when he was out. All I could think was, why didn't I do that?
Oh my goodness, Pat! Seems like you got a raw deal for sure. As combative as some people are about their opinions around this as a "new" concept, it's clear that the root of this belief is a certainty that people will always be good to you as long as you're good to them, which of course is not always the case, especially when uneven power dynamics are at play. A tough lesson to learn, for sure. I'm so glad that you had such a better experience later! <3
I'm so sorry you went through this.
The great thing is that I finally found the most wonderful man in the world to whom I have been married for 40 years. I learned from my expereince!
So right, Sarah.
You're totally on target. The trad wife is every incel's wet dream come true. They are particularly abundant in Fundamentalist Xtian circles and most especially among the Calvinists. It's seen as gawd's plan for women.